Dance Of Fire
by Semaphora
Summary: A breakaway story from Harcesis. "Through the haze, they come for him—taking all and leaving nothing behind..." KishIchigo.


**Dance of Fire**

**Disclaimer:** Whoops. Forgot to put it at the beginning... I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew.

**Summary (Of Sorts):** A one-page drabble from the Harcesis-verse. Kisshu has been confined, he is sick, very sick, and through the haze, they come for him. They bide their time until he looses his control…

Lyrics by _Evanescence_.

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_Just once in my life  
__I think it'd be nice  
__Just to loose control – Just once  
__With all the pretty flowers in the dust_

I had never understood why people would spend so many hours at a time mourning. Just sitting or laying or standing and crying. They would do nothing more, nothing less. They would just cry and cry and cry until their tears ran dry. Until no more would come out.

Comprehension. What is comprehension? Is it the understanding of a Point of View we have never considered? Or is it trying to grasp the extraordinary amount of knowledge placed in front of us – knowledge that would take thousands of lifetimes to finally understand?

I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

Operation Tauri was a mistake, I know that much. I never should have come here. I should have stayed longer, spent time to grieve and bury them. My family.

But I didn't. I had nothing to loose, nothing to gain. I wanted to die in their place. I wanted them to thrive. Mum. Dad.

River… 

I had so many expectations for my little sister. She was brilliant. Everything came naturally to her as breathing did to normal folk. She always loved to explore, dance, sing, paint and play.

But they killed her. They killed her and Mum, Dad and everyone else I had ever cherished, known or loved. It was payback, they wrote to me the next day.

We had never done anything wrong. So why, why would they take it out on the poor, innocent lives of my family, of my friends. Why single out me, when I had never put a toe out of line in fear that the exact events that have already occurred would, in fact, be true?

At the time, when they died, I had no self-pity. No remorse. No anger. No sadness.

I just… left.

I didn't care. Everyday I told myself; _I don't care._

But I knew it was wrong, knew _I_ was wrong. The psychological effects of keeping everything inside were enormous, or so she said. Her. She. The one without a name.

I can't remember her name.

I'm so fucked up. So confused. So… I don't even know the word for it. Broken. Destroyed by a single mistake…

No wonder Ichigo will never love me. I'm damaged goods. Not worth it. Not worth her time.

It doesn't matter. She doesn't matter. I don't matter. Only the mission, they say. Only the mission.

Who gives a shit about the mission now?

We were wrong. We shouldn't have begun a war when we knew nothing about our opposition. The humans aren't bad, they're just wrong. Their innocence has been lost because they are confused. They tried and tried and tried to live and they thrived off their environment but soon they grew too attached. Too attached to its sweetness…

It is a drug. They are addicted. And they can't stop and because they can't stop, they won't stop. It's impossible. They're hooked. They're dependant. They will die if they don't live.

We will die if we don't live.

But maybe… we deserve to die. We deserve to die because we are killing them. We are demanding their world, their environment and their drug. Because we don't have enough of our own.

We are just as bad as each other. It makes me sick.

I am sick. I am twisted. I am distraught. I am weak. I am erratic. I am…

Ill.

She tells me I am sick. She tells me it all the time now. Everyday. Or has it only been one day? I can't think. It's too crowded. I need to get out of here. Need to _think_.

But they won't let me. They say I will affect them. The humans.

Why are they so worried about the humans when they want to destroy them themselves? Or is it the plan? Deep Blue's plan.

No. No. No. No. No.

Stop the screaming… Stop her screaming.

'ICHIGO!' The pain. It comes and I can't stop it and my body begins to shake and it hurts. I can't cry out. It hurts too much. It comes from…

Where does it come from?

I don't know. I don't care. Just stop it. Just stop _this_.

It subdues. I breathe and breathe and breathe and don't do anything else until I can breathe again. I don't understand it. It is like mourning. Standing, sitting, laying. Mourning. Crying. Screaming. Pain. Breathing…

Are they really all that different?

No. They're not.

So why do I understand one but don't understand the other? If when you're sad, does mourning come as naturally to you as breathing? Do you have to mourn before you are over it? Will you ever get over it?

I came here because I wanted to go out with a boom. I thought we were right and what we were doing was write. But it wasn't.

We were wrong.

I was wrong.

But when I came here, I gained more than I had ever thought I would. I fell in love and am still in love and I can't stop it… It's like the drug.

She's my drug. Ichigo.

She's my enemy. Mew Ichigo. Their leader. Their protector.

But she does not want me like I want her. She pushes me away because she, too, is in love. But with someone else and I don't pretend that I don't care because I have nothing left…

Nothing else to loose…

So I push her. I try not to, I try to tell her but she just thrusts me away like I am nothing. She tells me that I am nothing, that she will never love me because she has Masaya.

They say that if you love something, set it free, if it is meant to be, it will come back to you.

If I let Ichigo go, she will. She won't come back. We weren't meant to be no matter how many times my heart tries to convince me otherwise.

I should let her go. I should move on. I should let her be happy with the one that she has. The perfect one. Aoyama Masaya. I cannot lie and say he doesn't care for her because he does.

But I can't let go.

Why? Why can't I let go? I don't know why.

Another thing I don't know.

Sometimes I feel I don't know myself anymore, either. Sometimes, in the dark – in the lonely, horrid dark – I wish they would come for me. But they won't. They're not ready yet.

I'm not ready yet.

Because they don't come when called.

They come when they want to. It is one thing I know. They will come…

…When I loose control.

When I get worse. _She_ doesn't have to tell me that I am sick. I know. I feel it. It hurts and it is why I hurt. It controls my functions and me. It hurts me.

And I don't know whether or not I deserve it. But I have a feeling that I will find out soon.

That's when it hits.

My eyes widen. My worst fears have been confirmed. It has found its way to me, the black! The shadow, it's come back! I try to scream but my fear drowns out any voice I have.

It demands.

'DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?'

I scream.

Because I don't know.

_If I cut you down to a thing I can use  
__I fear there will be nothing good left of you_

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**End Note:** No comment. I hope this sheds light on some of the things in the scene that you didn't understand. Review. It will keep up your strength. It also makes me happy.

Love,  
Exangeline.


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